So... Who Is the Food Ninja?
…and why the fuck you should pay attention to anything I’ve got to say?
ARE YOU FINALLY READY TO TAKE BACK CONTROL?
I know you are...
But with all the shitty advice out there you don’t know:
- What or how much to eat
- How to have enough energy to make it through the day
- How to create the capacity to change anything
- How to stop letting life get in the way
I get it, it’s hard to keep trying the same diets, the same habits over and over again and feeling like a failure every time you can’t sustain them.
Especially if you feel like
- you don’t deserve to be healthy
- you’ll never look nice in clothes again
- You’re broken and you’re beyond help
Maybe you’ve got to the point in your life where you pretend you don’t care that you feel uncomfortable, or that you can’t wear nice clothes, or go out and make friends?
That you don’t mind you’re always the one taking the photo so you don’t have to be IN the photo.
Just know that you’re not alone in this – I’ve helped so many people who feel like they’re beyond help.
People who feel like they’re ‘broken’ and diets don’t work for them.
That they’re just ‘destined’ to feel like shit forever.
Take my friend Jo for example...
Before we met, Jo was in a constant battle with her weight.
She’d try the latest plan or system, maybe see some results…
…but all too soon, she’d ‘fall off the wagon’, the pounds (and often a few more) would creep back on and she’d end up beating herself up for ‘failing’ again.
Jo knew it was time to do something different, so she contacted me.
We worked together on the hard stuff – core beliefs, mindset, values and identity.
The stuff that other health coaches avoid 💁🏼♀️
Has it changed anything?
Her whole relationship with food has changed.
She doesn’t have to beat herself up for failing yet another diet.
Because now Jo has all the tools she needs to look after her health – physical, mental and emotional.
We got forensic on her arse, so now she understands what works, what doesn’t, and how she can just slot these things into her life and get the results she’s wanted for so long.
Where there was confusion, there is now clarity, along with a toolbox of strategies that actually work.
And there’s also confidence that she now has everything she needs to succeed.
In her own words, here’s what the amazing Jo had to say:
“Once, I was a defensive, ex-SW with years of broken nutrition advice clogging up my head.
– I was special
– my metabolism was broken
– I could lose weight by starving myself or living off fucking Muller light yoghurts.
I could lose a few pounds and then reward myself with a Chinese. But that was ok. Because all pasta is free.
I was miserable. No energy. Lethargic.
Enter Ninja.
You have taught me that I’M NOT SPECIAL. There’s nothing wrong with my metabolism.
I’ve lost weight. I have cheekbones now.
I’m so grateful for you. You are real. The most real, down to earth person ever.
I’m glad you’re doing this for work.
Because if I didn’t have you to guide me?
They’d have needed a fucking forklift to winch me out the bed – out from a bed of Wispa wrappers and B&J cartons.
You keep me steady in the storm of life.
Fucking loves you, ya teeny lil Ninja Boss.”
Maybe Jo’s story sounds familiar to you?
I know you’ve tried every ‘diet’ out there, stuck to the rules, done all the ‘right’ things, but it’s still not worked for you.
Or maybe it did for a little while, but you soon realised you were no better prepared for life in the real world than before you started, and that weight came right back at ya like a boomerang.
But I want to tell you it’s not you.
YOU are an individual, diets are not.
When we work together, I always start with YOU.
So I can get to know you & help you find the best method for you.
I have a lot of weapons in my Ninja Arsenal, and they’re all at your disposal, in the Dojo.
DOJO APPRENTICES
is the brand new way of getting coached by me to meet your goals, at a fraction of the cost of my normal 1 to 1 package.
Part group coaching, part self paced learning, with direct access to me, The Food Ninja and a supportive community of action takers.
When you become a Dojo Apprentice, you’ll:
- Finally understand how to lose the weight you’ve struggled with for years
- Walk into a room & feel like you WANT to be seen, rather than hiding in a corner
- Know for certain that you’re back in the driver’s seat with your health
- Permanently change your mindset and stop self-sabotaging
- Go from feeling powerless to empowered
- Reduce stress and have more head space to think creatively and move forward with home and work life
- Enjoy kick-ass support from other Ninja Apprentices all on the same journey
- Have more energy to run around after your kids (or your partner 😏)
- Look and feel sexy AF!
All this, and more will be possible when you become a Ninja and join Dojo Apprentices
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?
I know that right now you might be thinking “Hayley, I’ve been there, done that, got the T Shirt and nothing ever works. This just sounds too good to be true”
But, I also know that if you’ve landed on this page you’re probably sick to death of ‘magic pills’, and the latest ‘weird trick’ to drop a dress size.
You know it’s something deeper than just ‘ eat less., move more’ but you don’t know what, and you don’t know how to address it.
I can help.
I also know that it’s hard to know who to trust on the internet.
Sadly, there are waaaay too many fuckwit ‘fitpros’ out there exploiting you with false promises about how you can lose all the weight in no time at all.
When in reality, that just isn’t true.
I know from my experience of working with hundreds of clients that people need to be able to stick with it for at least 6 months in order to see lasting change.
I know you want the shame and discomfort to go away as quickly as possible.
I know you want it to be easy cos you don’t have the capacity for anything else right now, but the reason you’re still where you are is that quick & easy doesn’t work.
The sooner you accept that, the sooner we can get to work.
Don’t let some twat at slimming world convince you that:
- you’re not trying hard enough
Or
2. your metabolism is broken, or some other bullshit that they’re simply not qualified to diagnose.
I’ve made it my mission to be as open and honest as I can with people.
That’s why I’m convinced that if you’re prepared to take on and apply the things you learn as a Dojo Apprentice, you WILL finally ditch those unwanted pounds and build a healthy lifestyle and achieve your full potential, whatever that looks like for you.
But let’s be real:
It won’t happen overnight. It takes time.
I could give you another diet plan to shift a chunk of weight quickly. But it would be miserable, and as soon as you stopped following it, you’d end up back where you are now.
Just like everything else you’ve tried.
But you already know that, right?
When you see the adverts promising “stunning” results in no time at all, there’s a (big) part of you that sees it for what it is.
Overhyped rubbish that might get you short term results, but will leave you disappointed in the long term.
Fad diets only focus on what you eat.
But losing weight is NOT just about what goes in your mouth.
It’s about what’s going on in your head too.
If you can fix that, there is zero reason why you can’t look and feel amazing AND have everything you need to sustain it FOREVER.
When I coach people to lose weight, I don’t just focus on nutrition, we deal with a whole host of other things too so that we can make the changes stick.
Thinks like:
- The core beliefs that are holding you back
- The bullshit that the diet industry and society in general have conditioned you to believe
- The confusion you feel about “good” and “bad” foods. (Hint, there aren’t any).
- Being able to trust yourself to make the right decisions for you and your health
And a shitload of other baggage we all carry around that stops us from being who we want to be.
Once you deal with these things, the rest becomes simple.
But other people don’t want you to know that, because then you won’t have to give them your money year after year after year.
They want you to stay confused because they have “the answers”.
Makes perfect business sense.
But I’m less interested in business than I am in people.
If you’re wondering what being a Dojo Apprentice will look like, here’s what you’ll get:
* Access to every single course/resource/webinar I’ve ever created, plus all the new stuff I create every month
* A 90 day personalised onboarding process to get you some quick wins & sustainable strategies for your health
* A weekly group coaching/training call, either about a specific issue, or a general Q&A
* A further weekly hotseat session to get you unstuck quick with any burning issues
* Weekly personalised feedback on your focus for the week, plus accountability to make sure you follow through
* A place on any ‘coached’ courses I run for non-members
* Monthly challenges with prizes
* Access to community forums so you can feel part of something that doesn’t need you to be on social media
* The unrivalled support and accountability of my awesome community, including a way to direct message me for help
* Earn Ninja stars for completing actions that you can exchange for merch or services
* Get awarded with belts as you rank up on your health journey, just like a real Ninja – can you get your Black Belt?
* Access to a range of Guest experts to cover all areas of your wellbeing
All done in a supportive community environment that breeds success!
Need more proof it works?
I’m a Health Strategist (whatever the fuck that is 😘)
I help people, mostly business owners and entrepreneurs to look, feel and perform at their best by looking at not just their nutrition, but a whole range of lifestyle factors that might need unfucking.
It also means I’m QUALIFIED (that bit is important 😉), to help you with nearly every aspect of your health.
I’m an evidence-based nutritionist.
I’m not a woo woo nutritionist, or a naturopath.
I won’t write you a meal plan based on your aura and energy vibrations.
I won’t ask you to eat only alkaline foods, or follow a blood-type diet, or a lemonade detox.
In fact I won’t ask you to follow ANY type of diet (beware of coaches who do 😬).
I’m not a clean eating wanker, but neither am I an ‘If It Fits Your Macros, you can eat donuts all day and still lose weight’ type of wanker.
I’m a Sleep Science Coach.
It means I can do a bit more than just send you a sleep hygiene checklist.
Like use CBT techniques to examine your beliefs and behaviours around sleep.
I’m a Stress Management & Recovery Coach.
I can help you choose appropriate coping mechanisms and recovery activities for the type of stress you’re experiencing, and help reframe your relationship with stress so it becomes your superpower
Work with me and I’ll make you chill as fuck 😎
I’m a Certified Health Mindset Coach.
I can give you the key to finally unlock all the fucked up shit your brain is doing to prevent you being the healthiest you’ve ever been……show your brain who’s boss 👊🏼
I’m a Habit Mastery Coach
I can delve into WHY you can’t maintain habits long enough to see results, and fix the things that prevent you from being successful, like designing your environment for success.
When I combine that with all the other stuff I do (CBT, NLP, Motivational Interviewing), your old habits, stories and behaviours don’t stand a chance
I could go on – but in short, I address ALL the stuff that other health coaches don’t 💁🏼♀️
Efficient and focused, I don’t fuck around doing shit that doesn’t work.
I get the job done, like a proper Ninja 🥷🏼
I NEVER half-arse anything.
You get my full arse, everytime 🍑
I don’t judge you from my ivory tower filled with macro-perfect Tupperware while posting pics of my abs to the ‘gram.
I’ve been through the mill with my health and I’m here to meet you wherever you are with yours.
Let’s get started!
How Much?
“Ok Hayley, so how much is Dojo Apprentices then?”
It’s difficult to put a value on how much Dojo Apprentices should cost to be honest.
Typically, on a page like this I’d list out all the different things you get and put a price against each one.
Then I’d say something like:
“Well that’s a lot of money, why don’t we call it this lower price instead.”
But, as you’ve probably realised, this page is a no bullshit zone.
So instead of making a song and dance about it, here’s the price:
It costs £250 per month, with no minimum tie in.
Or
You can pay for 3 months upfront for £700
Or
12 months upfront for £2500
Just hit the button & choose the option you want.
faq's
If you’re anything like me, you get to this part of the page and you’ve got a few questions.
So I’ve created this handy little FAQ to deal with the most common ones, but, if yours isn’t there, feel free to drop me an email and I’ll do my best to help.
“Q. What do I need?”
Not much! Mainly just a laptop, an internet connection and the desire to take action, and you’ll be away.
“Q. But I’m worried I won’t have time to commit to it.”
I’m not going to say just join up and everything will fix itself.
It won’t.
In order for you to get the most out of being a Dojo Apprentice you will need to commit to putting an hour or two into it a week for the coaching and accountability elements.
But the courses are all self paced, so you can go at your own speed.
Ultimately, you get out what you put in, and if you’re ready to make a commitment, I’ll make sure you have everything you need to hit your goals.
“Q. But I’ve tried losing weight before and it never works for me, maybe I’m broken?”
There are some conditions that prevent people losing weight, but, in 98.2% of cases (yes really, I know these things), it’s just because people have been given the wrong information and no support.
Which is why when you join Dojo Apprentices you’ll get all the information and support you need.
“Q. Will I have to cut out my favourite foods?”
NO!
No food is off the table.
If you want that piece of cake? Have it. I’ll show you how to work it into your diet without it being a problem
“Q. Will I have to follow a meal plan?”
NO!
If I prepare meal plans for you, you don’t really learn anything, but I want you to know everything you need to know to manage your own health going forward.
So rather than meal plans I’ll give you the knowledge you need to make good decisions.
Though there are plenty of tasty recipes and meal ideas included, there is no strict plan to stick to.
So now you have all the answers, the only question is…
…what are you waiting for?
So.....What's Next?
We’re very nearly at the end of this page, so if you’re still here, thank you.
You’re obviously smarter than the average serial dieter, and whatever you decide in the next few minutes, NOTHING can change that.
So let’s wrap this up & give you your options..
Option 1 – Close this page down, forget you ever saw it and carry on just as you were before.
Option 2 – Decide that getting your health sorted out is something you want to explore by yourself. You know it will take a lot of time and you’re prepared for the long haul.
You can absolutely do that.
There are plenty of books to read, and I’m happy to recommend some if that’s what you want to do.
Option 3 – Decide that you want to be a Dojo Apprentice right now.
Say goodbye to ‘magic pills’, ‘fad diets’ or sitting in the circle of shame being told off by Sandra for not sticking to your syns allowance!
Only you can decide what’s best for you, but let me say this:
So many people talk about sorting their health once and for all.
But few actually do anything about it.
Most people will tell you they want to get healthier, slimmer and fitter. But few actually take the opportunity when it arises.
I know it feels hard.
You don’t need to know what to do, that’s my job.
You don’t need iron will, motivation or discipline – just bring a willingness to listen & I’ll do the rest.
If you start NOW, you can start to be free of the never ending feelings of guilt & shame that you try to cover in chocolate wrappers and crisp packets.
In 6 months time you could actually feel good about yourself!
Or you could just revisit this page again in a few months, after you’ve made a few more holes in your belt to fit your feelings under 
I promise you, I can help you RIGHT NOW – you just need to walk through the Dojo doors