So it’s been a minute hasn’t it – well, it’s been 12 weeks actually, since I started my Year of Health, so it’s time to update you.

Be honest – you’re expecting some massive transformation right?

I mean if you listen to all the marketing out there, 12 weeks is all you need to transform your life/drop a dress size/be your best self. 🤮

Except you, I and everyone else knows that’s complete bullshit (yet we still buy in to it, piling hope upon hope, pressure upon pressure on ourselves that THIS is the one).

But life happens, shit happens, and it doesn’t matter how much Barry Bootcamp tells you ‘you just don’t want it enough’ ain’t nobody got time for that level of reprioritisation 💁🏼‍♀️

Even when GOOD shit happens, it can massively throw us off course.

Take my situation for example.

My hopes for my year of health are:

• Losing the extra few kilos of fat that’s hanging around from various lockdowns, relocations, house moves and general fuckwittery of the past 3 years.
• To really focus on my circadian rhythms, and get enough sleep without the use of alarms.
• Improve my mental health by working on some old beliefs that aren’t helping me anymore
• Being consistent & improving at Crossfit so I can nail some new skills and feel strong
• Having more downtime, being more sociable, spending more time with friends, and even, if my lil introvert ass can stand it, making some new ones 😬

Add to that my hope (and my educated guess from seeing it happen to so many clients) that my new focus on my own health, would in turn improve the health of my business, which I have big plans for this year.

But, me being me, I had to throw a massive spanner in the works.

The Ultra Challenge 😬

I honestly thought that setting myself this mammoth challenge would not only improve my mental health (which was the main reason I wanted to do it), but surely getting fit for endurance walks would also improve my physical health?

I realised very quickly that this massive fucking challenge I’ve set for myself, cos I was feeling a little lost, is actually completely incongruent with everything else I want to achieve this year 🤦🏼‍♀️

15 Ultra events do not a Year of Health make 😬

Just some of the challenges I’m experiencing because of the walks:

• The walks are every 2 weeks, and involve walking overnight. So every 2 weeks I’m missing out on a whole night of sleep
• I quickly discovered that my digestive system is not a fan of endurance events. Although I burn 6000-7000 calories every walk, I struggle to eat more than around 2000, and most of that gets ‘evacuated’ before it’s time 😳
• The extra admin of travelling, booking hotels, and generally getting organised every 2 weeks is way more stressful than I anticipated
• The physical toll on my body means I can’t stick to my usual CrossFit training schedule, and am lucky to manage 2-3 sessions a week, rather than my usual 5-6, which in turn affects my mental health
• With the walks every other weekend, that leaves me an ‘off weekend’ every other week…so half the free time to be out in the sunshine, meeting up with friends. I’ve missed a wedding, some CrossFit socials (and competitions). And guess what I want to do on my ‘off weekend’ – fuck all 🤣
• The cognitive load is huge, and my brain often feels like mush for around 3 days after – not the optimal state for being creative and growing a business 😬
• I’m self funding everything (event fees, travel, hotels, kit, podiatrist & massage appointments, baggage fees etc), so I raise more money for the 2 causes – so not only can I not grow my business right now, but I’m spending way more, so financial stress gets added to the pile. So far, I’ve spent twice as much as I’ve raised, which I’m finding really demoralising.

Yeah, it’s safe to say this was (naively) not the experience I was expecting.

BUT….life isn’t supposed to be easy all the time.

If you want to grow, you have to get outside your comfort zone, which means an acceptance that around 95% will be the process, the struggle, and the other 5% will be the little moments when you have a breakthrough or a lightbulb moment – the ‘feelgood’ moments.

For me, those momentary feelings of crossing the finishing line are great, but if I don’t learn to love the process, the 95%, (or at least appreciate the learning from it) – what’s the point in doing it at all?

So what am I learning?

I’m learning to bring awareness and be ‘in the moment’ for the parts of the process I can enjoy.

• the amazing scenery on (most) of the walks – I mean I’m definitely getting my green exercise right?
• new friends (and complete strangers), who go out of their way to help me achieve my goal
• all the amazing messages and support I get from people I barely know
• the fact that I’m in a fortunate enough position to even attempt this challenge in the first place.

I’m learning about my physical, mental and emotional limits and capabilities, and how it’s changing me as a person to go beyond them.

I’m experimenting with different ways of recovering, and learning what’s most effective for me, to enable me to keep going with so little recovery time in between.

But most of all, I’m learning about my gas burners.

This is a concept I use with all my clients, based on something that James Clear talks about.

If you imagine, for every area of your life you have a gas burner.

One for your work, your relationship, your life admin, your physical health, your hobbies etc.

You can’t decide that you want full focus (i.e, turning your gas burner up to 10) in every single area.

That’s gonna get costly REALLY fucking quick, in terms of time, effort, capacity – you’ll burn through your gas pretty quick, and eventually end up with burnout.

One of the most important skills you can develop, is being able to decide what burners need adjusting when, based on all the factors you have going on –

How do you feel physically, mentally, emotionally?

What do you HAVE to do this week?

What support do you have?

Being smart with those burners is the key to success with just about anything in your life.

For me, during these challenges, it means building a level of self-awareness WAY beyond anything I’ve previously done.

To be completely in tune with the signals my body and brain is giving me about what it needs.

And as well as that, the knowledge, will and wisdom to act on it & do the right thing at the right time.

Like go to bed at 8:30pm instead of watching another episode of Succession 🙄

I’m also learning how to increase the capacity of my gas tank to build more resilience.

To rest BEFORE I need it, to take action before the battery is drained.

I’ve come to realise that resilience doesn’t mean you never suffer, it means you adapt & bounce back.

Every fucking fortnight 🤣

So, there we have it – a very different update to what I was expecting to give.

Am I in a better place health wise than I was 12 weeks ago? In some respects.

I have lost 5kgs (granted around 5g of that is toenails).

My VO2 max and RHR are the best they’ve ever been.

I did some ‘health admin’ and had a long overdue smear test & some blood/kidney function tests and an ECG – all normal 🙏🏼

But (and I can’t believe I’m gonna say this) – data doesn’t tell the whole story.

To say I feel ‘healthy’ based on those stats is to completely ignore how I ACTUALLY feel on a day to day basis.

Which, 6 events in, is pretty fucking knackered, with a brain made of treacle most days.

Did I massively underestimate the disruption that taking on 15 Ultra Events would have on all my other goals?

Absolutely.

Do I still believe that this will be a Year of Health for me?

Ultimately, yes.

I imagine it will be like Type 2 Fun – terrible at the time, but with some lasting benefits & memories in hindsight.

Fingers crossed I get there.

Something else I still believe:

We can do ALL the things, and be ALL the things, and have ALL the experiences, just not all at the same time & with the same intensity. 🥷🏼

I’d love to know what you’re struggling with right now, what’s making you pull on all those reserves of resilence.

What keeps you going when you don’t want to go on?

Let me know in the comments.

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